400th Blog Post

Wow!!!! I can't believe I've gotten to 400 posts!!!!! Much thanks to my dad for making sure I update regularly!!!!!! I love how Lalainia does a giveaway when her blog reaches a milestone so I'd like to borrow her idea!!!!! For everyone that comments either here or on Facebook regarding this post I will put your name in a draw to win a dozen cupcakes of your choice!!!! Now on to my 400th post!!!!

I've thought and thought about what I'd like to write for this post, something remarkable since its a big one, but there's nothing really remarkable about me to write.  I've been struggling for quite some time with feeling rather blue.  My house is really suffering from it, I can't seem to get laundry caught up and the sweeping, mopping and vacuuming are not even happening.  Cleaning the bathrooms is a rare occurrence and making beds is not even a thought. I often wonder why I fall into these ruts, why is it so hard to pull myself out and put things back together? I have a wonderful husband, who I know suffers because of my down days. But he is so helpful and supportive of me despite the mood I'm in. And our children, despite being loud and a little messy, are healthy and happy. They do bring me such joy when I look at all they can do and the way they can get along with each other. And yet here I sit typing about why me? 

I have come across a couple of quotes that have really spoke to me, one by Linda K. Burton, our Relief Society General President. She says, "The Holy Ghost can do for us physically, emotionally, mentally and intellectually what no man-made remedy can begin to duplicate." This quote spoke to me because I know just how true this is...I'm not saying some medications can't help us, because I know first hand that they do and I wouldn't be where I am without them, but they can only take us so far. Having the power of the Holy Ghost constantly with us can totally change our outlook. When I struggle to be consistent with saying my prayers I notice my mood starts to darken, as soon as I start and merely just thank my Heavenly Father for all I have been blessed with I start to feel a weight lift off my shoulders and my outlook brightens.  A lot of times I like to just talk with my Heavenly Father instead of asking for things and my mind begins to be at peace.

Another quote that really spoke to me is from President Uchtdorf, one of my very favourite General Authorities of our church. He said, "Start where you are.  God will take you as you are at this very moment and begin to work with you.  All you need is a willing heart, a desire to believe, and trust in the Lord." This is actually the wallpaper on my phone, so I can be reminded each time I feel like I have failed. Which sometimes feels like that's everyday.  Being an adult is harder than I ever imagined it would be. I wanted it so badly when I was a teenager, little did I know all the responsibility that was involved.  There are definitely things I would like to have changed because I don't feel like I am the same girl I started out to be as an adult...and then I go back to this quote and realize that it doesn't matter what experiences we have had to shape who we are as long as we use them to become the best possible version of ourselves we can be.

So I try not to sit and think why me?...but what can I do?  I want to make life full of purpose for our children, I want them to know that our Heavenly Father is always there for them, even when they feel like they have failed. As I look out the window and see the sun shine through the grey clouds I want that to be me...I want the Son to shine through me so that others can feel the Light of Christ. And now as I write this I feel a sense of purpose, I feel lighter and my mood has brightened.  

Maybe being caught up on house work is minor in the grand scheme of things...being happy and a loving teaching parent is more of a priority right now.  And when I have those things under control the house work will fall into place. My children have clean clothes, they may not have been folded before they were put on, and most days they have a good home cooked meal, but more than anything I want them to know I love them and that I truly am happy to be their mother. I want my husband to know that I have found the love of my life, and my closest, truest friend. And I want my Heavenly Father to know that I am truly grateful to be a daughter of God, to have the gospel so fully in my life.  Writing this has helped me see the divine potential in my life and to know which path I should be on.  Maybe my life is remarkable after all, I am surrounded by those I love with all my heart and have knowledge of who I am and why I'm here!!!

Good luck to the few who read my blog and be thinking about what kind of cupcakes you'd like when you win!!!!!!!!!!!