Tuesday, May 31, 2016

We're Going to the Zoo, Zoo, Zoo...

Yesterday I was able to go to the Zoo with Armin's Kindergarten class.  The weather was a little cool, but just right to see some of the animals a little more active.  My dad was able to meet us there and I had a really nice visit with him while Armin wandered up ahead with his friends. Armin wasn't nearly as entertaining in the Dinosaur Park this year as he was last year, they didn't seem to bother him at all when they made noises and moved.  Bummer :( for me!!!  It gives me a slight sense of satisfaction to see terror on my kids face...call me crazy!!!!




 His favourite parts were the penguins, the hippo and the bats (I think only because the bats would still hang by their hands and then pee....he found that hilarious, as only little boys would!!)  We sure tired those kids out, we walked a total of 6km, perhaps more for the little guys since they also played on the playground after lunch for at least 45 minutes.  The only animal I took a picture of was the rhino, and only because I hadn't really looked that closely at a rhino before, they really are a strange animal, but like a hippo can run up to 40km/hour.  Amazing for how big they are.  He looked like he really was wearing armor, like someone had dressed him when he got up that morning!!



It was a great day and made even better because I got to spend it with my favourite little 5 year old!!!

Friday, May 27, 2016

Laid to Rest


Yesterday we gathered with family near and far to celebrate the life of my Grandma Mary, a very dear woman.  Her service was just perfect, a real tribute to a life lived by a woman of great faith.  I thought it was so neat how when cleaning out my Grandma's room, my mom and aunts came across index cards written out by my Grandma herself of her journey through a life of faith.  My Auntie Di read this as her eulogy, with her own thoughts added appropriately throughout.  Such a neat way to deliver a eulogy and so special that it was in the words of my Grandma.

The music that was sung for the service too was perfect.  A medley was sung starting with "Jesus Loves Me"and this couldn't have been more fitting, as it reminded me of when Grandma Mary would sing it to me when I was a little girl.  The whole service was beautiful, the pastor did a wonderful job bringing peace and comfort to all of us in attendance.

After, on our way to the car, we stopped to snap a picture of our perfect little family.  I sure love my family, even when I feel so totally depleted.  Those little arms around my neck saying I love you Mommy bring everything back into focus and I am reminded of the privilege it is to be a mother.  Remembering the unconditional love of my Grandma that day truly helped in reminding me what my purpose here on earth is...to love and care for those around me and make them feel special each and everyday!

 


Grandma is now laid to rest next to her best friend, the love of her life.  She will be missed but she is in a better place full of joy and peace, she is suffering no more.  I will always cherish the memories I have of her and keep the love she showed me close to my heart.

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

The Hardships of Mothering

I have wanted to be a mother for as long as I can remember.  I have always loved babies and babysitting.  But when I became a mother something inside me changed.  It wasn't all at once or even when my precious baby girl was a newborn.  It happened months later, around the time I took on two young kids to babysit as well as raising my own one year old.  Going from having just one I now cared for three spanning the ages from 6 months - 18 months.  Very exhausting to say the least, luckily I knew I couldn't handle it before something disastrous happened and I gave up babysitting several months later.  I remember putting all three kids down for naps, whether they slept or not, and I would go to my room, crawl into my bed and bawl.  A horrible feeling.  I remember being near comatose when Jared would get home and I'd start crying at any thing he would say to me.  I still loved him and our daughter but I envisioned things that would make me shudder and cry and go quiet.  I finally got medical help and doing that really made me start to see things clearly again and I started enjoying life a lot more. 

Fast forward several years and I went through similar symptoms as our family grew and got busier.  For the last 6 months I have felt much better than I have in a very long time.  But I'm not the same girl I was when I dreamed of having children, and I miss that girl.  I love the three beautiful, healthy children we have.  I love how each one is so different yet came from the same mould.  I love the sassy personality of Emry.  The take charge attitude she has with her brothers.  I love that she lives to help Jared with the cows and that her favourite animal over a dog or a cat is a cow!  I love that she is sensitive.  I love her wild hair and her hazel eyes.  I love how she is afraid of fire alarms and scopes out buildings for the fire exits.  I love the rough and tumble bone structure of Calum.  I love how he is quick to say he's sorry when someone he loves is hurt physically or emotionally.  I love how he hates doing anything with the cows and would rather hang out with his mom while I wash dishes or do laundry.  I love his thick curly hair and hazel eyes, just like his dads!  I love the spunky, quick to anger personality of our baby hulk, Armin.  I love how he is always sitting on my lap and calling me his sweetheart.  I love his curly hair too and big blue eyes.  He looks up to his brother and sister, he can't wait to get big like them.  I thought they knew I loved them like this, I tell them often and I show them through hugs and kisses.  But do they know it?

Calum went outside last night with Emry and Armin to help Jared bottle feed the calves we are caring for.  When Jared asked me if it was okay that they go, being that it was already 8pm, I readily said yes.  Calum said "Mom always wants us to go, she doesn't want us anymore."  I was floored when he said this.  My sensitive boy who tells me regularly that he loves me spoke exactly how he was feeling, and I didn't have a response for him, other than "of course I want you."  But did he believe me?  Does he actually feel like I want him?  Our family runs on the dysfunctional side.  Bedtime is usually a nightmare, the boys are riled up and usually run around like chickens with their heads cut off. Getting them to sleep usually requires laying with them until their breathing becomes deep and slipping away doesn't make them move in the slightest, all while constantly telling them to be quiet which usually ends with them in tears.  After usually falling asleep ourselves while laying with them we are too tired to do anything normal adults do when the house is quiet, which can be a huge strain in ones relationship.  Mornings come quick, they go much smoother than the bedtime routine but often breakfast is skipped because no one is hungry after only just waking up. 

I often feel as though I fail as a mother...this morning is a prime example...it was 80's day at the school and Calum really wanted to dress up.  The only thing I could think of was having him wear was his Ghostbusters shirt since its a movie from the 80's.  I didn't even think to Google it and see what the 80's were in fact like and if we could have made something for him. I felt terrible sending him to school in his regular clothes, especially after he asked what his clothes could be from the 80's.

What can I do to be a better mom that I'm not already trying?  I know when I felt my best I was saying my prayers and reading my scriptures on a regular basis.  I was living a life of charity and love towards others, I was not judgemental. I was exercising and taking care of myself physically.  Am I neglecting these areas now?  Yes, I surely am!!  I know I can't change everything all at once, so I am going to implement one strategy a week and see how that is making a difference.

I want my children to look back on their childhood with fond memories and know without a doubt that their mother loved them and was always there for them.  I don't want them to ever feel again that I don't want them.  I want them to know that raising them and caring for them was not in fact a sacrifice but a privilege.  A privilege I am grateful for each and everyday...

Friday, May 20, 2016

Grade 5/6 Field Trip to Edmonton

I was able to chaperone, along with 10 other mom's and dad's, the Grade 5/6 field trip to Edmonton to visit the Legislature buildings.  It was a jam packed yet fun three days!  I sure enjoyed my visits with the other moms and felt a real connection to each of them!!

The first day started out very early!  We boarded a fancy coach bus in Champion at 7:00am and made our way to Red Deer where we stopped for a pee break!  Even though the bus did have a flushable toilet, we encouraged the kids to only use it if in dire need...an emergency!!  From Red Deer we drove straight to the Telus World of Science where we ate our lunch before heading in to see the exhibits!  The kids had a blast inside, the one about the body was interesting but extremely gross.  At the Science Centre we also got to go to a workshop called "Come Fly With Me" and the kids got to make their own paper airplanes and learn all about how the parts of a plane work to make it stay in the air.  After this workshop we got to watch an IMAX show all about flight and how it has connected us to the rest of the world in such a short time!!

After the Science Centre we took the bus to our accommodations for the next two nights, MacKenzie Hall at the University of Alberta.  The girls had one wing, the boys had another and our bus driver had his own!  The kids were beyond excited, they were utterly giddy getting unpacked and settled in!  Us adults got supper ready and things for the kids to make their lunches for the next day. The kids visited, played and watched a movie.  There were snacks before bed and lights out by 10:30pm.  It had been along day!


Mine and Char's room

Emry Unpacking all her stuff



Gilbert with his room mates!!
Day Two was a trip to The Bennett Centre where the kids got to learn about trees and forests. A little on the boring side, I thought...but the kids enjoyed themselves.  We ate our lunches there and then went on a little hike along the river.  That was fun and even I learned a little bit about trees that I hadn't known.  We got back to the dorms for some much needed free time and the kids had fun playing a variety of games and visiting.  Pizza for supper was ordered in and then we headed over to the Terwilliger Recreation Centre to swim.  I decided I would go for a nice soak in the hot tub and even ended up going into the pool to try out the lazy river.  Well, it was not a lazy river at all, more like raging rapids!!  It was fun though and kept the kids occupied for long stretches of our time there, as did the diving boards!  Most of the kids went off the 12 foot cement diving board, Emry was upset with herself for chickening out.  We swam for 2 hours before taking a bunch of tired kids back to the dorm for a late snack and bedtime!  The floor became quiet a lot quicker that second night!!





Morning came quickly and we packed up and had a yummy breakfast of muffins, yogurt and fruit.  We then headed over to the Legislature buildings where we were able to tour the main building, sit in on a question and answer session, go to an interpretive exhibit of the history of Alberta and see paintings by the Group of Seven.  The Legislature is a beautiful building built in 1912, and a lot of the building is still original.  I found sitting in on the session to be quite embarrassing, I am not a political person at all so to sit and listen to grown ups antagonize each other and then boisterously laugh at one another when an answer they don't like is said, just makes me very uncomfortable.  We got to meet our MLA and have our picture taken with him on the steps into the Legislature building, the kids found this to be so cool.  In one of the underground walkways there is a depiction of the Legislature building made entirely our of Lego, so cool.  Over 120,000 pieces were used to create it, it was spectacular.











The Legoslature!!!


The Grade 5/6's with our MLA Dave Schneider


It was now time to board the bus for home, with a stop in Red Deer for supper.  Everyone was looking forward to that bus ride to sit for awhile and just do nothing!! The ride to Red Deer was quite quiet!! Lots of seats with no heads, as most of the kids were curled up and asleep.

I was so impressed with the behavior from the Champion kids.  So polite and well behaved.  Parents need to be so proud of the children they are raising.  There were no petty fights, no tears, no complaints of what was happening or not happening.  The food was well received with no complaints there either.  I gained more respect for our teachers who came on the trip than I had already had, and my respect for them was already quite high!! They didn't stop, ever.  If a child needed something they instantly went and helped them with whatever it was.  They made sure everyone had what they needed before attending to their own needs.  They are loving, compassionate and accepting of all the kids.  I am so thankful our children get to have them as their teachers and get to learn from them and grow into well rounded adults because of them.  I couldn't be more proud of the school they go to than I am now.  It really was a great, educational trip.  I hope all the kids had as much as I did.

Monday, May 16, 2016

My Grandma


My last remaining Grandparent recently passed away this past Saturday.  It truly is sad but also such a blessing.  She had suffered for quite some time with the early onset of dementia and had given up eating and drinking so her body was tired and was just shutting down.  I have many fond memories of my Grandma that I will always cherish.

Growing up until I was around 6 we lived right next door to my Grandma Mary, aka Grandma Next Door!!  My little sister and I would often wake up in the morning and head straight over to grandma and grandpa's where they would feed us toast with jam, sometimes only in a diaper and boots and a coat, sometimes nothing at all!  Her toast was always the best and her toaster so cool...you put the bread in the slot and it automatically went down into the toaster, best toast every time.  We also had many tea parties with Grandma, either on her back patio or in the house at the dining room table.  She had little teacups for Arren and I, we used these for years...I think I was an adult before I finally graduated to a standard size tea cup...she even started getting herbal tea for me once I became a member of the LDS church!! I loved looking around her beautiful yard at all her flowers and playing in the horseshoe pit sandboxes or swinging on the swings!  We would pull pussy willows off her tree and use them as ingredients for our sand soup!! We would climb a few steps up the big power pole that grandpa had put foot pegs into. We would watch for the blue jays that always came to the back window where peanuts were left for them in a little feeder. We would watch Young and the Restless with them if we happened to be there with them at 4pm, an after school ritual with our tea and cookies!!  Grandma always gave the best hugs, so tight and warm.  And she always smelled like tea and flowers to me.  She looked best in red and wore that color quite often.  She was always knitting scarves, in a variety of colors!

Once I grew up and had children of my own I would take my kids to see Grandma and Grandpa in their red house.  My kids got to do the same things with them that I did growing up.  What a great memory for them to have too!  My grandma was always interested in what I was up to, what kept me busy.  I always loved visiting with her and was so happy Emry and I got to spend a little time with her the week before she passed away.  We didn't visit much that day, but she did say it was good to see me!! I sat and held her hand while she drifted in and out of sleep.  That day will be one I cherish for quite some time...my grandma's hands were just as I always remembered them, soft, warm and clenched tight with total love and compassion! I will miss her greatly but I am thankful she can move on from the trials of this life.  I am happy she will be reunited with my Grandpa, her sweetheart!

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Mother's Day

I have the sweetest family ever!! I told Calum all I wanted for mother's day was a clean house.  He secretly went down to the basement and cleaned up all the toys!! He was so proud of himself, and I too, was so proud of him! Each of the kids made me such nice stuff.  I got books All About Mom from the boys and their answers were sweet and genuine!  Emry made me a nice card with thoughtful remarks inside!  And Jared barbequed steaks for dinner...so yummy!!  We had my mom and Jared's mom over to eat with us.  Two of my most favorite women.  I am so grateful for all they do for me.  They are wonderful examples and great friends.  Myrna has raised such a fine son, I couldn't ask for a better husband or father for our children.  I love the qualities she has instilled in him during his growing years!


Being a mother is hard, harder by far than any other job I have ever had.  It is exhausting and messy, overwhelming and depleting.  But is also so rewarding and at the end of the day when the little rascals are all asleep, snug in their beds, it is so worth it!!  The hugs, and slobbery kisses, the innocent I love you's and constant calling of mom, mom, mom...make all the other stuff go away.  I love my kids more than anything in the world, I love them so much I would give up even my last piece of hidden chocolate for them if they caught me eating it ;)  They mean the world to me and I am so thankful for the opportunity I have been given to be a mom, to raise these precious children.  I only hope I am doing something right and instilling in them qualities of goodness, humility and kindness.


Happy Mother's Day to all the women who have helped shape me to be the woman I am today! Especially to my mom, mother in law, sister's and sister's in law!! I love each of you so much and am so thankful for the examples you are to me!

Monday, May 9, 2016

12 Years Old

Our sweet Emry turned 12 last week!! She is such a beautiful, loving, caring and compassionate young woman!!! This birthday marked her graduation from Primary into Young Women's!! She was so excited to move up...she gets to be with Cora and Leah, the two cousins she looks up to and truly admires!

The day of Emry's birthday I let her sleep in a little longer than usual!  While I was getting ready for work I could hear Calum rummaging around in the kitchen but I didn't really pay much attention.  When I went to get Emry up Calum was in bed with her watching a show and she was drinking milk with a lid on it.  That I found odd!! Calum told me he brought her milk in bed for her birthday!! He really is a very considerate boy! Once they were all upstairs and waiting for the bus, Calum and Armin both sang "Happy Birthday" to Emry.  I think she was definitely feeling the birthday love that morning!!


Wednesday I took Emry out of school and we went into the city to get her hair cut and to see my Grandma Mary.  It was a very nice day, fun but also a little sad.  Emry had a hard time seeing Grandma Mary in the condition she is in, it made her cry.  But it gave us an opportunity to talk about life and death and what happens to us when we die.  It was a great connection for us, I love the questions she asks and the depth at which her understanding is at.  We had lunch with my Mom and Mark and then went to see a friend who had just had a baby a month earlier. We made it back to the school in time for Emry's band rehearsal and the boys baseball practice!!A great day with my favorite girl!!


Sunday was her first day in Young Women's! The other girls came and "kidnapped" her from Primary by grabbing her arms and dragging her to their classroom!  She so enjoyed the lesson and can't wait for next week.  She received her certificate of advancement and finished her Faith in God.  A great accomplishment!! The first thing that happened when she got into Young Women's is they called her to be the first councillor in the Beehive Presidency!!!  Not even a week to get settled!!

I am proud of her and I am thankful to be her mom here on earth.  She is a delight to have in our home and is such a big helper around the house and the farm.  I love the way her mind thinks and the take charge attitude she has.  She is a girl older than her actual years which I think will be a great blessing to her in her later years!  I love my sweet girl and couldn't ask for a better daughter than her!

Thursday, May 5, 2016

Bring the Bling

On one of our local radio stations that I regularly listen to I qualified to win a $10,000 diamond ring!! To qualify means you have to attend their party where one out of 64 guests has the chance to win the grand prize solitaire diamond ring!  I did NOT want to go alone and since we were able to bring one guest I invited my sister to come along!  The closer the event got the more sick to my stomach I felt...I hate crowds of people and I knew I would have to walk through them to pick my prize!!

In we went to a beautifully decorated hall at the Exhibition grounds.  It really was breathtaking, little white lights everywhere, beautiful chandeliers, candelabras, and bling on the napkins and the chairs...very stunning!  Each of the 64 contestants names were put into two bins, one where each of us would be able to pick a prize donated by one of the many sponsors and the other bin was for the grand prize draw, the ring, only 10 of the 64 names would be picked for this prize.





When our name was picked out of the first bin we went up through the multitudes of fellow strangers and picked a ring pop out of a bucket, on this ring pop was a number that corresponded to a prize valued at $100.  I picked a pillow, donated by Leon's.  It is a cooling memory foam pillow, I tired it last night and actually kinda liked it!  So, a great prize just for entering the contest!!

After, we were served some finger foods, a spring roll, a mini barbequed meatball, a spicy sausage, a mini beef wellington and a mini quiche...notice how I said "a", every 10 minutes or so we were asked if we'd like one of the above, they did not come very regularly so needless to say Arren and I grabbed a burger from McDonald's on our way out of town!! Oh, the best part, Arren tried her first ever shrimp...it was definitely not the place to try it though...these shrimp were cold and kinda slimy and huge!!!  Her face was priceless!! She hated it and now officially can get Buck off her back from trying it!! I honestly thought she was going to throw up right there on the beautiful table!!




Back to the contest!!!  The time came for the 10 names to be drawn...1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9....Amber Puzey!!!!!! I was picked as one of the 10 qualifiers for the grand prize ring....unfortunately the first man called picked the box with the ring in it :( but it was lots of fun, and I am so happy my sister could be there with me.  Her heart was pounding when my name got called, I think she was more excited than I was...she didn't have to walk up in front of all those people!!


I qualified by filling out online survey's and earning points.  I then used these points to "buy" entries into the contest, they chose my name one day and called me up!! Quite exciting!!  So, I'm thankful for a great radio station, one I listen to faithfully...I am even able to listen to it at work on my computer!!! So fun!!

I did feel bad for going because it did happen to be on Emry's birthday :( and there was a Ward activity at the church cleaning the entire building, inside and out! But it sounds like Emry had a really good time hanging out with the Young Women and the Ward even had a cake for her and sang her Happy Birthday!! She sure is a sweet girl!!



Monday, May 2, 2016

A Funfilled Weekend

This past weekend was a busy one, but lots of fun too!!

Friday, Emry and Calum started their Junior Golf program and had so much fun! They are official season pass holders at the Vulcan Golf Club.  Friday night we went to Fort Macleod with Myrna to help set up for the Activity Day Girls activity on Saturday.  The boys had fun running around playing one of their many made up games and Emry was a big help setting up tables and chairs with Jared while we decorated!!

Saturday was an early start to the day, we left Champion at 8am! Emry had invited a friend and together they were a big help with the finishing touches and clean up after the activity!!  All the girls seemed to have a good time, there were 31 girls from around the Stake there.  They did a treasure hunt, stained treasure boxes and decorated them, learned how to line dance and had a yummy lunch!! The theme to the activity was based on a scripture found in Matthew, "For where your treasure is your heart is also."  Myrna gave a nice talk to the girls before we started the activities and they came up with the most genuine answers ever, and they ranged in ages from 8-11!!!  This was Emry's last activity as she is turning 12 tomorrow and will be moving up to Young Women's, and she said it was so much fun and she learned new ways to live a more Christ like life!  While Emry and I were gone Jared decided to take the boys golfing, Calum even had some unreal shots...so did Jared, some of his best!!  They had so much fun with their dad!!!!

 


 

 
 
Saturday afternoon we picked up another one of Emry's friends and she had a little party at our house!  They explored outside, played minute to win it games and they each made a mini homemade pizza for supper.  We had angel food cake with whipped cream and raspberries for dessert and she opened their gifts!! The boys gave her a bag full of knee high socks, her favourite!! Dantae gave her a sweet card with a beautiful poem written inside, and Cale gave her a digital watch in her favourite colors, blue and lime green!!! We didn't get her friends home until after 8pm!! It was a long day but she had so much fun!!  I came home to the boys playing in the shower so I left them in there for as long as I could while I made Emry's favourite dessert for her birthday dinner with family the next day!!  Needless to say, the boys were very pruney when they finally got out of the shower!!! Armin had a blast playing with the plastic cups from the minute to win it games, he built a huge tower and was so proud of it!!


Sunday was of course church, a nice fast and testimony meeting.  After church everyone from Jared's side of the family and everyone from my side (minus my dad :( ) came to help Emry celebrate this very special birthday!!!  I even got to have my older sister and her kids there!!! Jared barbequed his homemade, hand smashed patties and hotdogs.  We had a variety of cheeses, Havarti, goat cheese and cheddar, all were gone along with the hamburgers, only 4 hotdogs were left!!  Everyone brought something to add to the dinner and it was all delicious!!  Emry said it was exactly what she wanted for her birthday, to have all her family together!!

After everyone left we decided to go for a walk as a family since it was so beautiful out.  Armin for some reason had no shirt on with track pants!  Calum brought a hockey stick with him and pretended it was a gun and a sword.  He and Armin played Age of Ultron and Antman!! They have such unreal imaginations!!!  After our walk we watched Heartland and finally it was time for bed!!  The cat has been wanting to sleep right up by our faces lately, he just loves us so much!!! Jared found him using my face as his pillow when he woke up Sunday morning!!  Silly cat!!


 

So a good busy weekend, full of so much love and laughter.